General Maximus Decimus Meridius, my friends call me Gluteus Maximus

That’s odd; I never realized so many foreigners resided in the Roman Empire.  Didn’t they speak Romanese or something? I stand corrected by the historically accurate Gladiator.  Apparently the Roman's spoke English. And not just any English.  They had British accents, American accents and Greek accents or something like that in the background.  Rome liked English so much that they decided to have an Australian imitate an American accent. Interesting, considering the character was from Spain. Now that's what I call a real melting pot. Look at the bright side; at least it wasn’t Romanese with English subtitles.

Didn’t Mel Gibson already do this film? Oh, I’m sorry that was Braveheart (1975)…or was that, The Patriot? (2000) I'm sorry, it’s all such a blur.

Gladiator was one drab and lackluster movie, script-wise and visually. It was overly long and tedious.  Director Ridley Scott could have chopped about 45 minutes out of the running time and no one would have been the wiser.  However, they might have been very grateful.

I’m not quite sure how much was spent on the visual effects.  Clearly, it was not enough. They were downright cheesy. If you watched the Behind-the-Scenes you would have thought the recreation of Rome was a monumental and flawless success. Monumental?  Maybe.  Flawless? Definitely not.  Here’s the reality; the wide shots of the Roman buildings looked obviously digitally created and poorly matted together.  The scale looked out of whack and you could easily tell the various images were layered together. Special effects become a distraction whenever they are poorly done.  Then again, one would expect to see, and possibly enjoy, bad special effects on a shoe string budgeted horror film.  Gladiator was not a horror film.

The opening battle sequences were impressive but impossible to tell the good guys from the bad. Apparently Rome only had one clothing boutique.  All you had to do in older westerns was look for the good guys with the white hats on white horses. Heck, even civil war films had team colors, blue vs. gray.

Gladiator looked like a bunch of extreme close-ups of really angry homeless people going at it. (I apologize for the homeless crack.)  The relentless close-ups during the action sequences were terminally annoying. If you are a person who suffers from claustrophobia, take some Dramamine then close your eyes during the fight sequences.

Gladiator was disappointing and way overrated. Russell Crowe’s character gave new meaning to monotone.  Coma inducing. Crowe was as drab as the dark and muddy visuals. The WWE championship wrestling, I mean battle sequences, in the Coliseum even came with its own ring announcer. I waited for the announcer to say, "Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  This event is being brought to you by Miller Lite Beer.  And in the south corner weighing in at 162 pounds, minus the 230 lbs. of armor, we have…"

The Jest
It’s 180 A. D. and Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris) is at the end of his rein as the leader of the Roman Empire. Aurelius is prepared to turn his command over to his trusted and loyal subject, General Maximus Decimus Meridius, a.k.a. Gluteus Maximus (Russell Crowe). Aurelius’ spoiled and mean spirited son, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), finds out details of his father’s plans. Commodus' (His brother was Nintendus) failed attempt to have Maximus killed comes back to haunt him.  Maximus returns for revenge as a gladiator (Hense the title). Ultimately, Aurelius causes Maximus's demise.

Some of the best scenes were between Commodus and his sister, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen). Those scenes had intense and emotional impacts, something the rest of the film lacked. Clearly, Marcus Aurelius had concerns about his legacy in his final days. It reminded me of some recent USA Presidents who too thought about their legacies. At least President's left office with six figure salaries. Marcus Aurelius left office six feet under.

The Acadamy got it wrong! Skip the movie and go directly to the Behind-the-Scenes stuff. It’s more informative, more fun and much shorter. Gladiator wasn’t a bad film; however, it certainly was a disappointment. As a side note Gladiator was Oliver Reed’s final film. He unfortunately died during the production.

DVD Info:
DreamWorks presented this 152-minute 2000 anamorphic DVD at about 2.35:1 (looked a little less). Picture quality was ok at best. The image was generally muddy, dark, and low detailed. Colors were subdued and a bit thin. The Dolby Digital 5.1 was pretty good but not great. Although the 5.1 was very active, it suffered a little in clarity. Bass levels were impressive, on occasion. Special Features included From the Cutting Room Floor,

The Making of Gladiator, Gladiator Games: Roman Blood Sport, Hans Zimmer: Composing Gladiator, My Gladiator Journal, Original Storyboards, Still Gallery, Trailers & TV Spots, Cast & Crew, and Production Notes.

** Overall DVD Rating Legend:
**Video, Sound, and Extras: 4 = excellent, 3 = good, fair = 2, 1 = poor, 0 = unacceptable