DVD Overview:
Movie: 1.5
Video: 2.75
Sound: 2.5
Extras: 2
Aspect Ratio 2.35:1
Anamorphic
153 minutes

"The Dirty Dozen vs. The Asteroid."
By: Bob Brown

Now that sounds like an appropriate title. If only Armageddon had the caliber of writing and characters of the "The Dirty Dozen". This new spin on an old worn out script is typical of the standard disaster films. It’s the same old dialogue with the same old characters doing the same old predictable things. It's a beaten-to-death formula film. They're simply stereotypical recycled characters. People seem to be drawn to over-the-top special effects. As absurd as the use of the special effects were, they were kind of fun to watch. I thought the real fun was when the characters left Earth. We then got a noticeable reduction of awful dialogue. The action, although dumb, somewhat improved. It would have been nice if the director trimmed at least 20 to 30 minutes out of this movie. It would have been tighter and less painful to sit through.

Ok, here's the plan... You go long and I'll punt...
Good God the world is in trouble again. This time an asteroid the size of Texas (looked more like Rhode Island to me) is heading straight into the path of the Earth. Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton), head of NASA, needs the services of the best oilrig driller on the planet (preferably a non union worker). That would be Harry S. Stamper, AKA Bruce Willis. Willis’s job is to get his oil rigging men into shape to be launched into space. They'd hook up with a Russian space station for refueling, land on an asteroid that’s traveling at 22,000 miles per hour towards Earth, drill an 800 foot deep hole into it, drop a nuclear explosive into the hole and try to make it back to Earth in time to catch the five o' clock showing of The Dirty Dozen on HBO (knowing HBO, not letterboxed).

Generally speaking the acting was pretty good, considering dreadful the script. The film did have a couple, as in two, good emotional moments (humorous and tragic). I had tears rolling down my eyes, mostly because I was afraid this film would never end. The cast was plentiful. Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare, Keith David and a bunch of other faces you've seen before. I'm sure they all were all soley enticed by the pay checks. I know it wasn't the script.

A few passing thoughts:
*How loud are explosions in space anyway?
*When cutting the one correct wire on a 100-trillion dollar nuclear detonating device, is it important to run off as much time on the clock as possible before you correctly guess which wire to cut (as in Goldfinger and eight million other movies)?
*Gee, I wonder why Earth never cracked in half when we did our underground nuclear testing. Perhaps they stopped digging at a safe 799 feet instead of 800.
*In order to repair sophisticated equipment aboard a space shuttle, such as computerized intergalactic engine thrusters, is it important to know what size stick to hit that engine with in order to get it to run? Haven't they heard of duct tape?
*Have the restrictions for quarantining astronauts been relaxed after returning from a hard day’s work on an asteroid without a 15-minute break, per union rules?
*I feel so embarrassed. I should have known it was common knowledge that the space shuttle could maneuver better than the F-15 fighter jet... I now be educated.

Best line of the movie:
The General to Truman, referring to the oil riggers, "So Truman, this is who you found to save the planet?" (Took the words out of my mouth)

If you’re gonna watch one of these type of corn-ball disaster films (this one is on par with Independence Day), as difficult as it is, simply check your brain in at the door and try to enjoy the ride. If you start thinking too much, it could be quite painful.

DVD Info:
Touchstone (Disney) presented this 153-minute 1998 nonanamorphic DVD at about 2.35:1 (looked less). This movie was begging for an anamorphic treatment. The print quality was average compared to other downconverted movies. Color saturation was good. The Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack was real active with excellent effects, frequency response, and separation, but it did lack the clarity that I've heard on other sound tracks. The special added features included a Teaser, Theatrical Trailer, an Aerosmith Music Video, a Sony Music Spot, and Additional Titles.

** Overall DVD Rating Legend:
**Video, Sound, and Extras: 4 = excellent, 3 = good, fair = 2, 1 = poor, 0 = unacceptable